After going through a grey area, ensuring that your feelings are mutual and that you are on the same page. Deciding to let your guard down and let him in. Feeling more confident with what you are beginning to have between you. Displays of public affection. Meeting some of his people. Giving a damn. When being with him starts to feel a little like coming home…you are left figuring out the possibilities that lie ahead in your future world. I’m not talking marriage, or moving in, not even going as far as posting a pic of the two of you or updating an online relationship status…but things start to cross your mind. Especially if you have previously been married or have kids. Things can become a little more complicated yet a bit more exciting. You are also responsible for the feelings and little hearts of your creations, not to mention sometimes sparing the feelings of exes, deserved or not, no one likes to intentionally hurt others, so do it nicely. It is important that you own your life.
Is it time to open up your suitcase?
I think, building a meaningful relationship at this point (late thirties), is sort of like each of you having a suitcase full of your life stuff. Some fuller than others, some more complicated than others….let’s face it, you each have a past. You now need to see if you can combine your suitcases and make it all fit. In many ways, starting over (in a sense), can be more complicated, and yet in so many more ways less complicated. For me at this point, there are no games, no bullshit. I feel how I feel. I own who I am. I am established as a person. I have what I have and I am aware of what I don’t. My needs are different. My time is valuable to me and rarely ever wasted. I no longer have dreams of what I want I now have a bucket list, and I scratch things off. I don’t say things, I do things. So as much as my suitcase may contain my past, such as exes, pain, tears, memories, deception and some heartbreak, it is also full of the best of me, my people…my boys, my family, my lifelong friends, my lessons, gratefulness, new life experiences, excitement, acceptance, positivity, a new found confidence, knowledge, honesty, independence, passion, peace and grace. If you are lucky enough (like me) to have found someone who holds a special place in your heart, a person who is willing to open their suitcase to you and let you see all their pieces, pay attention. Be gentle. Be honest and see if it works.
Ps. I am absolutely in love and excited to unpack, repack and fill up my suitcase with this incredible man. He is simply one of the kindest, sweetest, and sexiest men I have ever had the pleasure of sharing my heart with.
kissingamillionfrogs 