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You need to know…

I love you but I don’t care about forever. I want you for as long as I’m meant to have you. I will love you every moment I’m able to because I’ll never pretend that I have forever to. You need to teach me how to love you and I will teach you how to love me. It’s not one conversation, it’s many.

You won’t always come first, but that doesn’t mean you’re not one of the most important people in my life. I don’t believe that our love is about dropping everything for each other; it’s about doing life the best we can, it’s selfless, holding each other up when we need it and maintaining our sanity so we can both be the best versions of ourselves. You deserve the best of me. I don’t want to be your entire life. I want us to have our own time with our children. I want us both to have friends. I want us both to have alone time. I want us to maintain our lives outside one another; a successful merging of two lives isn’t necessary, it’s us coexisting as one.

Talking things out with you isn’t just what it takes to be healthy in love; it’s how I completely fall in love with you each day. It’s how I hope we keep growing parallel to one another through the years. You definitely don’t have to like every part of me to still love who I am. You don’t have to change any given part of me to make me more of who you’d prefer. Accepting what’s real on the surface to become closer to what is true at the core.

I promise that I will not always look the way I look now and neither will you. But your body does more than just look great to me; it holds the person I love. Our interests and habits may change, but the core of us doesn’t. You can tell when someone loves you by two things: the way they look at you when you’re talking and the way they touch you.

I need to Thank you. Thank you for letting me spend a day with you. A night with you. Thank you for sharing important pieces of your life with me. For laughing with me. For holding my hand. For listening to me. For knowing me and still wanting me. For helping me in whatever ways you were meant to. For letting me be there for you. The smallest parts of you are magic to me. The way you fix your hair with your hands, the way you instantly fall into a deep sleep, all the small nameless things that usually go unnoticed are everything to me. 

I hope I’m always a little nervous, even though there’s nobody I’m more comfortable with. I hope I always have butterflies when I hear your name yet calling your name calms me. I hope the things I love most about us last so that our children learn how to love hard. I hope that the look in your eyes or the smile on your face when you are around me means that you see magic in my little things too. Xo

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