Co-parenting, Dating, Parenting, Relationship

Dear Universe, it may take me a bit to figure things out but I continue to grow.  Thank you!❤️

To the mother of his children,

I have been wanting to reach out and drop you a quick note, Mom to Mom. Although a bit hesitant about how, I hope contacting you today through our common grounds is okay.

I know I have only met you a couple of times, yet through spending time with your girls, I feel like I know you. They speak of you often and love you incredibly. I think your girls are great. They are loving, funny and kind, individually unique, yet normal. I’m sure you are very proud of each of them and so you should be. I think you and #%!? are both doing the best you can, putting their needs first. I want you to know that I support you both in your parenting decisions, I do get it and I’m on your side. Parenting is tough, staying on the same page with your ex can be tougher. Sharing time, dividing holidays, making it to concerts, birthdays, soccer games, figuring out schedules, class trips…completely exhausting, yet so rewarding! I am happy that it is important to both of you to be a part of their everything and to be their united support system.

I’m new to this, and actually had never considered what it would be like to have more kids in my life. As I’m sure you are aware, I have been blessed with 2 of my own plus a few others. To be honest, the thought of 3 more considerably younger kids scared me at first, but after getting to know them, I couldn’t imagine my life now without them in it. A co-parenting relationship is very different than what I have been exposed to (unfortunately for my kids), it’s a learning curve for everyone, but I can see how much your girls benefit from it and want you to know I whole heartedly support it. I know it’s probably been a little tough having someone else around your kids, but know I never want you to feel threatened or uncomfortable with the relationships I build with them, I am not their mother and don’t wish to be. As much as I love them, I am careful and will continue to be careful not to overstep my boundaries. I am simply someone who cares for them, because I care for their Dad. 

I am only a small part of their world. You are their caregiver, guide, and example. You are their lifeline, their planner, and the one who tucks them in at night. They are little pieces of you. Even when it is not your night or weekend, you are very much a part of their moments. 

Lastly, I just want to say thank-you for sacrificing some things to give your girls a life with both parents taking part. And thank-you for letting me be a small slice of their big world.

Happy Weekend!

Sincerely, 

Me

Update: Her response to my letter and her openness to having me in her girls lives has not only warmed my heart but is allowing me to trust the process. 

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Parenting

God grant me the serenity…

I don’t know how to do this.

I don’t know how to let you grow up without walking beside you, holding your hand.

I don’t know how to let you fall without being right there to catch you, kiss you, and make it all better.

I don’t know how to let you make mistakes, take chances and fuck up without being right there to help fix you.

I don’t know how to just stand back and love you.

Deep down, I think you will be okay. I trust that what I have taught you from 0-19 is instilled somewhere within you. I believe you have morals and standards and self-respect buried beneath the entitlement and selfishness that appears at your 19yr old surface. I know you want a life you can be proud of, I know you have goals and dreams and you want to be surrounded with the people that lift you up and support you and that maybe right now your life isn’t about that and just maybe that’s okay. 

As your mom, I just don’t know how to do this part.

Not hearing from you, seeing your face, hugging you. Not knowing what takes your time.

It feels hard. 

Sleepless. Teary. Worried. Scared. Anxious. Empty. Nervous.

And then in some strange way, proud. 

Have fun. Be safe. Go find yourself. Then let me know that you’re okay. Xx

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