Parenting

God grant me the serenity…

I don’t know how to do this.

I don’t know how to let you grow up without walking beside you, holding your hand.

I don’t know how to let you fall without being right there to catch you, kiss you, and make it all better.

I don’t know how to let you make mistakes, take chances and fuck up without being right there to help fix you.

I don’t know how to just stand back and love you.

Deep down, I think you will be okay. I trust that what I have taught you from 0-19 is instilled somewhere within you. I believe you have morals and standards and self-respect buried beneath the entitlement and selfishness that appears at your 19yr old surface. I know you want a life you can be proud of, I know you have goals and dreams and you want to be surrounded with the people that lift you up and support you and that maybe right now your life isn’t about that and just maybe that’s okay. 

As your mom, I just don’t know how to do this part.

Not hearing from you, seeing your face, hugging you. Not knowing what takes your time.

It feels hard. 

Sleepless. Teary. Worried. Scared. Anxious. Empty. Nervous.

And then in some strange way, proud. 

Have fun. Be safe. Go find yourself. Then let me know that you’re okay. Xx

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