Mr. GoodLife gave me hope…first off I have nothing but great things to say about this man. He was driven, ambitious, interested and interesting, a great cook, owned a nice & clean house, in good shape, took care of himself, gentle, polite, attentive & had a good career.
So what’s the problem?
This was the first time I had accepted dinner at someone’s house. We had spoken a couple of times on the phone and in some weird way I trusted him. I know serial killers are trusted people too…since then I have been talked to at lengths about my gut instinct and murderers, I assure you.
I bought a new outfit, my hair and make up were on point, I was feeling good. I bought him a book about how to be awesome that I loved, as a thank you for dinner (I’m not a wine drinker, he was and I was at a complete loss and couldn’t show up empty handed). I arrived on time. I handed him the book we hugged he gave me a tour and I was pleasantly surprised as he was a good looking man. He had bought beer that I liked while he drank wine and he had the food all prepped for dinner. We had great conversation and he really went out of his way for perfection. I was not in any way disappointed. Conversation flowed nicely all evening.
He was previously married and didn’t feel appreciated. They didn’t have kids. He had never dated anyone with kids so I could tell that there were times he was trying to wrap his head around my life. Anyone with kids (especially teenagers) knows that things change all the time. Everything is last minute, they need a ride suddenly, they picked up a shift at work, they don’t feel well or they’re suddenly about drop dead because they are starving. It’s life. And I had never dated anyone without kids so this was interesting for me as well. He was much more career driven and selfish (not in a bad way, but because he could be).
He expressed at one point that he had thought he had always wanted children of his own.
The evening ended, we hugged he kissed me on the lips and we said goodbye.
I text him from my drive way to let him know I arrived home safely and thanked him for dinner.
I took one step into my house and my immediate thought was he wouldn’t survive 10min in my life. I could hear my kids up playing video games, and my house is lived in…unlike his. I enjoy my chaos. It makes me feel alive. As much as I was impressed by the cleanliness and organization of his house, it could’ve been a model home or have an open house scheduled at anytime. Too perfect for me.
The next day after sleeping on it he sent me a well written (very polite) text saying just that…he thanked me for opening up about life with kids as it helped him realize that he does want children of his own (which I am not interested in) or he does need to find someone without kids, like him. I appreciate the thought process and the truth.
My lesson here was easy…good people are out there. They do exist. They are real. It happens.