Dating

Mexico J – Date 1

He had a decent job as an HR manager. Two kids not in diapers. Decent messages back and forth between us. Similar interests and hobbies. 

What could possibly go wrong? 

We decided to meet at a local pub for a beer. I nervously got dressed contemplated everything I put on, fixed my hair a hundred times, each time making it look worse than it did before. Touched up my make up…took a thousand deep breaths and headed out the door. 
We agreed to meet in the parking lot so we didn’t have an audience watching us awkwardly saying hello for the first time. I knew what he drove so when I arrived in the parking lot I parked beside him. We got out of our cars and as I see him for the first time I think to myself…Ohhh he’s a little older than I thought, but in we go. We each ordered a beer and started chatting. I definitely did the majority of the talking and the asking of questions AND more talking…it’s sort of what I’m good at. A few times throughout the night I had flashbacks of being out with my ex as he glanced up at the TV in mid conversation. In fairness it was directly in front of him and it could’ve been a nervous thing…I let it go. We ordered another beer each and a few sips into that I remembered thinking, all of a sudden I think he’s kind of cute. Now is he actually cute or am I wearing beer goggles? If this is beer goggles talking, this is new for me, this would be the first time in my life this has happened.
After a few hours we finished up he pays the bill, we head out to the parking lot, hug and say our goodbyes, he pulls me in for another hug and BOOM there it was full tongue down my throat. I did not stop him. I’m not sure if I was just in shock at that point or what. I get into my car and out loud gave myself shit the whole way home. Saying things to myself like…how could you let him do that, you dirty little pig!! And laughing about it too. By the time I got home I had forgiven myself for what had happened and was looking at it as an experience. 
He did not text to make sure I made it home safely…strike 1. He did text first thing the next morning to say he had a good time and asked to see me again. He was leaving for Mexico in a few days and unless I rearranged everything in my schedule we would have to wait until he got back from his vacation. We continued to text…he checked in with me while he was in Mexico. At this point I knew I needed to see him again. I had to figure out if he was Mexico J or Beer goggle J…
To be continued…
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Dating

Mr. GoodLife

Mr. GoodLife gave me hope…first off I have nothing but great things to say about this man. He was driven, ambitious, interested and interesting, a great cook, owned a nice & clean house, in good shape, took care of himself, gentle, polite, attentive & had a good career.  

So what’s the problem? 
This was the first time I had accepted dinner at someone’s house. We had spoken a couple of times on the phone and in some weird way I trusted him. I know serial killers are trusted people too…since then I have been talked to at lengths about my gut instinct and murderers, I assure you. 
I bought a new outfit, my hair and make up were on point, I was feeling good. I bought him a book about how to be awesome that I loved, as a thank you for dinner (I’m not a wine drinker, he was and I was at a complete loss and couldn’t show up empty handed). I arrived on time. I handed him the book we hugged he gave me a tour and I was pleasantly surprised as he was a good looking man. He had bought beer that I liked while he drank wine and he had the food all prepped for dinner. We had great conversation and he really went out of his way for perfection. I was not in any way disappointed. Conversation flowed nicely all evening. 
He was previously married and didn’t feel appreciated. They didn’t have kids. He had never dated anyone with kids so I could tell that there were times he was trying to wrap his head around my life. Anyone with kids (especially teenagers) knows that things change all the time. Everything is last minute, they need a ride suddenly, they picked up a shift at work, they don’t feel well or they’re  suddenly about drop dead because they are starving. It’s life. And I had never dated anyone without kids so this was interesting for me as well. He was much more career driven and selfish (not in a bad way, but because he could be).
He expressed at one point that he had thought he had always wanted children of his own.
The evening ended, we hugged he kissed me on the lips and we said goodbye. 
I text him from my drive way to let him know I arrived home safely and thanked him for dinner. 
I took one step into my house and my immediate thought was he wouldn’t survive 10min in my life. I could hear my kids up playing video games, and my house is lived in…unlike his. I enjoy my chaos. It makes me feel alive. As much as I was impressed by the cleanliness and organization of his house, it could’ve been a model home or have an open house scheduled at anytime. Too perfect for me. 
The next day after sleeping on it he sent me a well written (very polite) text saying just that…he thanked me for opening up about life with kids as it helped him realize that he does want children of his own (which I am not interested in) or he does need to find someone without kids, like him. I appreciate the thought process and the truth. 
My lesson here was easy…good people are out there. They do exist. They are real. It happens.
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Dating

Match.wrong

 

Heading out on my FIRST date. Learning how to become comfortable meeting new people. 

The story of a guy I nicknamed Adelaide. After texting through a dating site for a week I took the plunge  and nervously met him for coffee at a local Tim Hortons shop. I put way too much thought into my wardrobe, hair and make up – it was a damn coffee. But aren’t first impressions everything? 

Thankfully it was roll up the rim time as that was his method of payment. At first I thought it was fine that he used his winners to ‘buy’ our coffees but the more I thought about it the more I thought….noooo that is not okay. It would have cost $3.40. I would have gladly paid. Truth is, if you have two roll up the rim winners in your pocket (according to the stats) you have had at least 12 coffees, use them another day. I’d like to say it got better…next he asked for ice in his coffee, crossed his legs, rubbed my leg with his hand, talked about having to go for pedicures in the winter because he has awful looking feet, then his kids in diapers who fight constantly, and to top it all off…told me that the business he owns hits rough patches from time to time and therefore has left him no choice but to borrow money off of his parents. 

Wasn’t a bad experience but some things are better left unsaid.
Remaining positive.

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