Dating, Uncategorized

My big fat Italian funeral part 4: the unplanned aftermath

  
It seems as though beach guy has a hurt feeling. It’s tough not to take his lashing out at me personally cause I believe he is intentionally saying things to simply hurt my feelings and I hate to admit to it, but it worked. I thought that was a thing we outgrew in our 20’s.

First off, up until this past Monday (3 weeks after the split) he wanted to meet for a friendly lunch, I had declined as I am good at the drawing healthy lines thing. Yesterday he messaged me a ho-hum type of message telling me to enjoy the holidays and my upcoming trip. I responded back with a cheery message thanking him and wishing him all the best of everything.

Last night, after he had a few drinks he started sending me messages about how I’m focused on crossing things off in life and it should be about getting there and loving it. Funny thing is I am one of the most positive people I know, thankful for everything these days. Enjoying my journey is what my life has been about the last year or so and I’m actually really loving life. Anyways he made some comments about what ever helps me sleep at night, and something about how he tossed me on a mountain and I was there as long as I was getting what I needed, then when things got tough, I ran. Something about he loved me and trusted me, but then he learned. All of these things I took very personally, how couldn’t I? My only intention all the way through was to find a healthy relationship for two people. I just wanted to find someone that would treat me like I would treat them and have some things in common, a good old fuck ya connection. In the end, I wasn’t bitter I learned and was thankful. We talked for weeks after, nothing but nice things to each other until last night. I did respond with a recap of the version I had remembered (you know him pushing me away and telling me to run and trade him in) and then I apologized for the way he was feeling. He came back one last time about how he passed his exam, he is the owner of a million dollar company and he doesn’t care about it. He loved and respected me as a person but the truth shows and apparently it was too much pressure on me. By the way him telling me he loved me twice during drunk texts is the very first times he has ever mentioned the L word to me. 

I am even more confident in the break-up. 

But why did I let this get the better of me today? 

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